Do you remember that time when we sat in the sand and watched the sun fall beneath the waves?
How about that time we slept beneath the stars…until the June bugs nearly dive-bombed us to death?
Or when we went sledding down the dunes and had sand in our hair for days?
…I still have my scar from the accident…
And if that’s never enough to remind me of you…Well, I still have this goat mask you wore when we got kicked out of the zoo for public intoxication.
You said our love was infinite….timeless…
But now…
You’re gone.
It’s been quite a while, but I’ve finally returned to the fantastic Friday Fictioneers, a group of writers from all corners of the world who write 100-word flash fiction based on a weekly photo prompt (many thanks to the wonderful Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting and to Adam Ickes for this intriguing photo). I really appreciate you reading and hope you enjoyed my little *ficticious, of course* bit of nostalgia here. Please give the other fictioneers a read by clicking on the blue froggy link below!
Happy Wednesday to you,
Adelie
Dear Adelie,
Sad, somber, heart wrenching and moving. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Doug,
I sincerely appreciate you reading and taking the time to leave such reflective and encouraging words.
With gratitude,
Adelie
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How moving was that! The tone was so very plaintive. Well done.
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I truly appreciate you saying this, Sandra. It was one of those pieces where I wasn’t quite sure if it was worth publishing or not. Those words really warmed my heart, especially coming from you!
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Dear Adelie,
Touching and well done. The memories are good to have but will never fill the void.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
Thank you for your kindness. Memories are priceless, but we must be careful not to hold too tightly to old memories at the expense of creating new ones. I really appreciate your generous kindness and inspiration!
Warmly,
Adelie
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There comes a time when all we have left our memories. Really poignant.
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Thank you so much for reading and for leaving such thoughtful reflection. You speak an unfortunate truth. I suppose that’s why it’s important to make as many *good, hopefully* memories as possible. I really appreciate your input!
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Very touching with a hint of your youthful humor shining through.
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You always say the kindest things, Julie, and I really appreciate it! Though, let me be clear that the scenario of being intoxicated in a zoo, with a goat mask, is not drawn from my personal experience or any latent desires! I’m not quite sure how I came up with that! 🙂
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Loved this.
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Thank you so very much for reading and for such kindness, Professor!
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Hi Adelie,
Instead of those two last lines, I think this might be more powerful if your narrator addressed the recipient more emotionally. Like saying “I miss you” or “I’ll never forget these things. I wish you were here to make more memories together.”
This evokes the kind of thing you say at the grave, talking to ghosts. And if that’s the case, you don’t need to tell ghosts that they’re gone, you tell them you miss them, you love them, you wish they were there.
Just my insight, take it as you will.
Helena
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Hello, Helena!
First off, thanks so much for stopping by and giving this a read. You know I always deeply value your input and the time you put forth into giving me some helpful advice. Prior to your comment, I had been playing around with the last couple of lines, and an alternative that I came up with was, “I’ll always remember.” But, I don’t know… As I was writing it, I had in my mind that she was basically talking to him in her mind, until her rationality kicked in at the end to deliver the truth. I completely agree that your alternative lines work very well with the scenario of directly talking to the ghost. I think here though, I was going more for a desperation vibe, where she’s hoping that somehow, his love for her still exists, even though he doesn’t. At the end, she comes to terms with it all. Though, I’m still considering changing it up a little, and you’ve given me a lot to consider. Thank you so much again, and I’ll let you know if I make some revisions!
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I just changed it up a little. Though, you might still not like it because it includes the whole “you’re gone” bit. I think/hope my revision will show a more contemplative tone, as opposed to a verbal one. If you have the time, maybe take a look at it and let me know what you think? 🙂
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Actually, I do like that a lot better. It adds a longing to it that is a touch less heavy-handed than the previous incarnation. It also clarifies that the recipient of these feelings isn’t dead; just gone.
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Thank you so much for giving it another read and extending your wisdom. See, I knew there was a way to make it better, the solution just hadn’t presented itself until you stepped in. Thank you so much for helping my process! 🙂
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People come in and out of our lives for many reasons. This made me melancholy remembering those who have left me. A stirring piece.
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Thank you so much for leaving such meaningful words, Dawn. While the primary scenario in my mind was mortal loss (by the vague mention of an accident), I wanted to keep this open enough to suit all sorts of circumstances when people part ways. In all cases, sometimes it’s hard to find reason behind the pain of parting. Sometimes it seems that all we have are the memories. Thank you, many times over.
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❤
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Awww. So sad. 😦
You capture those moments very well. Reminds me of things I had in my life a few times or so. Congratulations! Good job.
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Thank you so much for reading, Kent! Yes, I feel like this was something everyone could relate to, in one extent or another. When I look at the picture, I just feel so bad for that little goat head…. all alone in that storage closet. 🙂
I really appreciate your encouragement. It seriously made my day!
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Anytime. That’s what we’re here for.
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One word- deep. That was perfectly painted, the imagery and tone so somber.
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Hello, Camgal! I really appreciate you giving this a read and leaving such kind feedback. I felt it was something we could all relate to, and I’m really glad you enjoyed this.
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No problem, I loved it 🙂
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This 100 word story had so many gentle memories slipped between the words interrupted by the line …I still have my scar from the accident… and I thought, What? What accident then you went gently on. VERY well done.
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Thank you so very much for these kind words, Alicia. I’m really glad I was able to draw you in!
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The word images you paint are very vivid. A poignant take on the prompt. Well done!
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Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to leave such thoughtful feedback!
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So many of us write our “fiction” from real life. Well done. 🙂
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You’re absolutely right! I really appreciate you giving this a read and leaving such an uplifting comment!
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You know why I love this? Because it is so simple and honest. There are no golden rays of dying sunset drowning in the deep dark ocean, no sparkling stars of the far away galaxies in the midsummer sky, no unconditional all-encompassing love transcending all obstacles…Because in all our hard moments, we mostly remember how we felt.
Well done.
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Your words bring so much more beauty and meaning to the message. I absolutely couldn’t have said it better. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful reflection!
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Oh how sad! You’d think he could find a more attractive souvenir of his lost love.
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That’s true, Liz. Sometimes the silliest things make for the best memories though! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!
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Those well chosen details show the story of this romance so vividly. We see what she’s lost and it’s painful. Beautifully told, Adelie.
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Thank you so much for reading and for always writing such lovely words, Karen!
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Sounds very much like a love song. Better than Taylor Swift! Great job…
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Thank you so much for reading and for such kind words. I admire Taylor for her ability to dive into her feelings and make herself vulnerable by sharing them with the world, so I truly appreciate your compliment!
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Adelie, Welcome back! That was a lovely combination of happy and sad. We remember all the good times, and feel the loss, but we know we have to heal and move on. Very well written about feelings most of us experience. 🙂 —Susan
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Thank you so much for the warm welcome and taking the time to leave your reflection with such wise and comforting words! 😀
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Respect! Very well written.
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Thank you very much for reading and for the wonderful feedback!
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The ghost mask part is a priceless memory…enjoyed this!
Ellespeth
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Hello, Ellespeth! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for leaving such lovely feedback! -Adelie
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Adelie, it’s been a while since I’ve popped by here. So much has happened! This was a heartfelt piece, and very relatable. You turned a rather creepy-looking goat head into a relic of a beautiful past, long gone.
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You have a gift. THANKS FOR SHARING IT! 😀
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