Up in Flames

 

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright -Mary Shipman

 

It’s a great fixer-upper…perfect for newlyweds,” the realtor chimed as I scribbled my signature.

With naivety and honeymoon smiles, my husband and I gazed at the crumbling castle that we vowed to make our kingdom.

Only two weeks later, I came home with paint and paste to find him drilling something other than the floorboards.

There comes a point when you can only repair something so much.

Despite his praying and pleading, I knew there was no way to restore this to its original beauty.

No more wasting time with tools.

 

With gasoline and a lighter, I make my final improvement.


 

I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my contribution to this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by the magnificent Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. I’ll keep this short, because I’m sure you have better things to do than read my blabbering- like checking out some other stories from fellow fictioneers!

Eternally grateful for your love and support,

Adelie

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53 thoughts on “Up in Flames

    • I debated whether or not to specify if anyone was left in that house. I thought it might be more fun to let the reader decide! Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to share your thoughts, Melody!

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  1. Some nice lines here… I liked the way she kind of matter-of-factly said ‘drilling something other than the floorboards’… kind of a noir vibe. I liked the ‘vowing to make castle a kingdom’ line too.

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    • Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts, Ted. It’s funny, because this character’s point-of-view is a lot more amusing than mine. It’s crazy how those things happen. 🙂

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  2. Love the matter-of-fact tone of this, Adelie, and the metaphors work perfectly. Just a grammar thing: “I knew there’s no way…”, you’ve been in past tense so “I knew there was no way” (yes, I know it effects word count, but…). The ending, although in present tense, could stay that way because she could be talking right now. Deftly done.

    janet

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    • Hello, Janet! Thank you so much for the grammar tip. I contemplated that whole there’s past tense situation, and for some reason, I kept it— not quite sure what my reasoning was at that point. I really appreciate you reading and taking the time to give me advice!

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    • Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such magnificent feedback, elappleby. I wasn’t quite sure what tone I was aiming for at first, so I just let the story go witnessed where it wandered. I figured it was best for her to find the strength to move on, and I’m glad I was able to get a few laughs out of it. Thanks again! 🙂

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  3. Dear Adelie, I really enjoyed your story. Was the husband being unfaithful or he really was drilling on something else. If the former, I wonder if she let him know before she threw the match. Wow – short honeymoon! Nan 🙂

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    • Hello, Nan! As you imagined, the husband was being unfaithful. I thought about stating whether or not he was in the house when she set it on fire, but I decided to leave it to the readers’ imaginations! 😀

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